Adopted Thief
by Chained and Tortured
Summary: Bakura is turned into a one year old by a creepy old lady. If that's not bad enough he's thrown into an orphanage and nobody recognizes him. Can it get any worse? How about becoming Anzu Mazaki's adopted brother? YAY, CHAPTER SIX IS UP!
1. Chapter 1

Cat: (Whistles Innocently)

**Dis: I don't own YGO!**

Bakura sighed life was boring ever since he got his own body. Shadii had made him promise not to try and steal the sen nen items and also not to hurt anyone.

'What good is life when you can't kill someone?' Bakura asked to himself. He stopped outside a shop window and looked at his reflection. He was back alright. He was tall, tan and handsome.

His eyes landed on a girl in an alley surrounded by three men. She screamed for help. But there was no one but him around. 'Who cares,' he thought carelessly. 'She was going to die one was or the other.'

He walked away and heard an agonizing scream. Yup, she was dead. It didn't matter. Shadii had told him not to hurt anyone. He didn't say anything about helping anyone out.

He kept walking. Nothing interesting (Besides murder) happened anymore. The pharaoh's friends were getting on with school. So no one to hang around and annoy. Ryou was also in school.

He kept walking and bumped into someone. He growled.

"Watch it you clumsy oaf!"

He blinked and smirked at the girl in front of him. She was blonde and violet eyed. "Valentine." He said.

Mai blinked and looked up all color draining from her face. She still wasn't use to him. How amusing. Even when she knew he was forbidden to hurt anyone.

"Bakura! What are you doing here?"

She managed to say it with out stuttering this time. Bakura smirked. "Oh, well. I was just in the neighborhood and got bored, seen anyone uninteresting to kill?"

Mai blinked and laughed. "Your not allowed to kill!" she said nervously.

His smirk grew. "Says who?"

Mai stomped her foot. "I don't have time for this!" she turned around and stomped of.

Bakura resisted the urge to roll his eyes. He kept walking and stopped when he came to an odd shop. It was covered in beads? He blinked got curius as to who would live n such a dump. He knocked on the door.

It opened to reveal and old woman. "You are Akefia. Thief king." She stated with out blinking.

Bakura narrowed his eyes. "How do you know?"

But the old woman remained motionless. "You have harmed many. It is time for you to learn a lesson."

Bakura pulled out his deck. "Listen woman. I have no time for foolish games. How do you know so much about me?"

The old woman was still unfazed. She moved her hand into her pocket and pulled out some powder. "Once you learn your lesson, you shall return to normal. Once you understand the pain of loosing a loved one." The woman threw the powder on him and before he knew it she was gone. Not only that but he realized that the buildings were getting bigger.

XXX

Cat: Ummm, yeah it's a short one. I'll make the next one longer though!

Bakura: Review!


	2. Chapter 2

CAT: Heh, sorry for the long time wait. I kinda forgot I still had this story. Anyway, thank you for reviewing and I hope you enjoy the next chappie!

Dis: CAT Does NOT own Yu-Gi-Oh.

--

Bakura groaned and rubbed his head, What the Hell was going on? He looked up and down. The building looked twice as big. 'How very odd,' he thought.

He stepped foreward and hit the pavement face first.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

It didn't hurt that bad. So how come he was screaming? Why were there tears streaming down his chubby cheeks?

Hold on.

CHUBBY?

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

He sniffed. What the Hell?

"Hello there little boy." said a woman's voice.

He looked up. Standing above him were two people;. A woman with light green eyes and long red hair and a man with jet black hair and dark blue eyes.

"Oh Darling!" she threw her arms around Bakura and picked him up.

PICKED HIM UP?

'Let go of me you pile of filth! Before I obliterate you!' But all that came out of his mouth was; "Mama." Mama? What was he thinking?

The man, bended down ruffling his hair. "Looks like he's tooken a liking to you. I wonder where his parents are."

Realization dawned on him and he screamed again. Louder. Harder.

THE BLASTED WOMAN HAD TURNED HIM TO A CHILD!

"Hush, hush." The woman paced a finger on his lips.

He blinked in surprise and shut up.

"Isn't it obvious? He's an orphan! Parents don't leave their children alone in this part of town. Let's take him Honey!"

Bakura stared.

"Yes I suppose we should."

And they did.

* * *

Anzu's POV:

Anzu pulled her roast out of the oven, sniffing it. It was Five thirty and her parents would be home in awhile.

Afew minutes later she finished setting the table for three people. Her, mom and dad. She checked her watch, where were they?

She walked over to the livingroom table and stared at a picture of her, her father, mother and relatives.

Oh! How she loved being an only child! She was practicly spoiled when it came to her parents and her grand parents! Her relatives were always there for her too.

Ding-Dong.

That must be her parents!

She smiled softly, they had probably gotten something from outside, they weren't expecting her to cook, Oh how surprised they were going to be!

She walked over to the door and turned the knob and jumped back in horror. It couldn't be!

Her parents were standing there, smiling happily and a child in their arms. Not just any child; a blue eyed, white haired and tan skinned child. And they were holding a filled and stamped adoption paper!

She saw nothing but darkness and didn't even hear her parents cries when she fell to the floor.

* * *

Bakura's POV:

They were walking down a very familiar street. He couldn't believe it. They had tooken him to a huge building, filled in some forms and now he was officially their kid!

He shut his eyes. No, no, no, no!

He couldn't talk or walk! But, he realized that crawling was simple and with some help he could stand up straight. What was worse was that the people in the street stopped and made small talk with his new parents, Shiro and Chihiro. The people pinched his face until tears came out of his eyes and he was forced to cry.

What REALLY surprised him were Chihiro and Shiro's last name; Mazaki. But surely not...? Then again the street did look familiar. They stopped at a door. Not ANY door. A door Bakura knew quite well. Anzu Mazaki's door. He felt the color drain out of his face and he was suddenly very cold.

He stared up at the sky. 'What the Hell did I ever do to you?'

The door opened and the friend ship preacher stared at him in horror. 'I'm not too happy either.' he thought trying to growl. But it came out as a...

GIGGLE?

But she didn't hear it, for she had hit the floor.

Chihiro put him down and ran to her daugter.Crying.

Bakura for the firt time in his life felt fear. How am I to survive this?

-

CAT: REVIEW PLZ!


	3. Chapter 3

Cat: Yeah... I know. I'm updating, (Gasps dramaticly) -.- Welp, here's my update.

Alex: She (Points at Cat) Don't own Yu-Gi-Oh or Freddie Vs Jason.

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Bakura scowled as his 'mom' forced baby food into his mouth.

"Who's the goowd wittle boy, huh Tommy?"

'Definitely not me!' Bakura thought angrily.

Tommy.

That was his name.

Tommy Mazaki.

He felt ridiculous. Couldn't they think of some think better?

The friendship preacher threw a huge tantrum after she awoke and it was pretty amusing, actually. Most of the living room was demolished and her father was upstairs trying to talk to her.

'Perhaps I can make the most of this situation.'

When he had gotten his own body, everybody feared him more. He knew what they were thinking, Shadii had said no killing, he didn't mention torturing. But this _girl, _this annoying little girl, had completed treated him like he was un welcome. The others would try to sooth her while she gave him lectures on how, her five year old cousin, weren't supposed to be watching adult rated movies.

**Flashback:**

**"So what?" he snapped. "It isn't as though it matters that much. They seemed to be enjoying themselves aswell." he said, pointing at the three girls who were currently watching FreddieVsJason.**

**Anzu pressed the shut off button on the remote. "What were you thinking? Do you have the _slightest_ clue what that movie is about?"**

**Bakura raised an eyebrow. "Ofcourse, there's nightmares and rape."**

**The five year olds giggled.**

**"Juanita, Ginny, Azzy." Anzu said warningly.**

**Juanita glared. "How come you always say _my _name first?" tears were flowing down the girls cheeks. "Why? Why? WHY?" she screamed.**

**"A-and, how c-co-come you s-said my name l-last?" Azzy said following Juanita's example. "D-don't you love me?"**

**"A-and, my name's _always _in the middle!" Ginny screamed running in to Bakura's arms. "Uncle Bakura says your a mean bitch and he's right!"**

**Bakura smirked. These three kids worshipped him. His league of thieves may be out of reach but these three were the next best thing.**

**Azzy and Juanita cryed harder until Yami and the others came down stairs (They were upstairs playing duel monsters)**

**Anzu glares at Bakura. "What have you been telling them about me mop head?"**

**Bakura scowled. "The truth Mazaki. Nothing more."**

**End flashback.**

She had never treated him with respect, perhaps now was his time for revenge. Yes... instead of a curse, let him treat this as a gift.

A spoon of banana and apple flavoured baby food was shoved into his mouth. He spat it out in distaste.

"Oh honey," he turned around to see his new 'papa'. "That's not how you feed a child." He gently took the spoon from 'mom' and added some more food held it to Bakura's mouth. "Eat." He demanded and shoved the spoon into Bakura's mouth.

Bakura bit his papa's hand.

"Agh!"

-

"Well, see you Anzu." said dad, patting Anzu's head like she's a little kid.

Her eyes landed on Tommy. He was looking particularly smug, like he knew what was going on and was doing this to torture her. She wouldn't have been move suprised if he ended up being Bakura. He had cried when she came out of her room and picked him up, deciding to give him a chance and only stopped when she was away from him.

During dinner, he sat in mom's lap watching Anzu eat. She could feel the evil vibrating of him.

She knew why her parents were leaving for the weekend though. She wasn't stupid. They wanted to give them bonding time. She had seen it in a million different soaps, which really made them all the same.

"Buh-bye Tom-Cat." he said hugging his 'son' and Mrs.Mazaki kissed Tommy's cheek.

"Bye sweety."

With that she handed his to Anzu.

"Have fun." Her father said before closing the door. She didn't move until she heard the car pull out of the drive way, the she took Tommy and sat him on the couch. Switche on the TV and stared at it as the news came on.

She felt a tug at her hair and looked doen to see Tommy pulling it. He gave her an sweet innocent look. In Anzu's opinion it was too sweet and too innocent. He sure did _look _like Bakura. But so what? If in Tommy's case it was a kid with blond hair and brown eyes she'd be thining he looked like Jounichi, but then again... how often did you see a kid with snow white hair? And if you looked close enough you could almost see scars on his face. But Bakura was a grown man, her sanity argued. And this was a one year old child.

"Googa."

She snapped out of her thoughts and raised an eyebrow at her 'brother'. "Listen and listen good."

He blinked cutely.

"I'm in charge buster. So you," she poked his chest softly. "Listen up. I'm older. I need more space and I expect it.I don't care what you do as long as you do it quietly and it doesn't land _me _in trouble. Also, if your going to go kissy on _my _family, don't do it in front of me. And tomorrow is when the reunion starts. You know what that means, well do ya buster? It means that my cousing from the United Kingdom are coming here. So I expect you to be on your best behaviour." she poked him under his arms and to her suprise found him giggling. "So, your tickelish are you?"

-

It was interesting how over protective she was of her family. What had really caught his attention was that tomorrow her family members from the United Kingdom were coming. That also meant those three kids that looked upto him. He had always been slightly curious if they asked about him. Not that he cared much. Not at all actually.

Bakura cursed himself for letting the giggle escape him. Now she was tickeling him like she was addicted and there were tears coming down his face.

Stupid baby instincts.

She stopped, but...

He was laughing and so was she.

They were laughing _with _each other. They had only done that once, and it was a mistake as well.

**Flashback:**

**"Stupid Yami." muttered Anzu.**

**"Stupid Pharaoh." growled Bakura.**

**They stared at each other.**

**"What's _your _problem? Yami beat you in duel monsters again?"**

**Bakura scowled and she smirked.**

**"And yourself? It's not always you insult your _precious_," he said the word like it was acid on his tongue. "Little Pharaoh."**

**"His hair." she said, more to herlsef then him.**

**Curious he asked. "What of it?"**

**"It's sticking out all over the place and it's full of gel."**

**Bakura snorted. "Your practicly complimenting it, it's more like..."**

**"A pineapple." They said together. They blinked at each other. Anzu laughed and Bakura was chuckling slightly.**

**"Are you guys flirtin'?" asked Jounichi who had just popped in out of nowhere.**

**They shut up.**

**End flashback.**

A huge mistake, especielly on his part. the mutt had told almost everyone.

There were even rumours going on at their school. Not that Bakura cared. But still... it was disturbing to know people even thought he'd consider this... _girl._

They had stopped laughing a while ago and his eyes drooped. It was hard enough being a grown-up, but being a child... He yawned and put his head on the couch. His eyes shut, although he wasn't asleep yet. He felt himself being lifted and moved to somewhere else. Probably his new room, wherever it was.

He felt the covers pull over him. As he snuggled next to whatever warm thing that was next to him and the last thing he remembered was a bottle of warm milk being held against his mouth as he sucked it hungrily before darkness envolped him.

-

Cat: Heh, review and I'll update! I want the reviews to hit thirty-five for this chap before I update though.


	4. Chapter 4

**Cat: (Glares at ArchangelAki) Aki-chan your a cheat.**

**Aki: (Doesn't really care and happily reads the next chapter)**

**Alex: (Laughs) Cat doesn't own Yu-Gi-Oh or Aki.**

**-**

Bakura glared at her. 'I hate you.'

Anzu gritted her teeth. "Eat damn it,eat!"

"Damn it." Bakura blinked. Where'd that come from?

Anzu stared at him in horror. "Oh no you didn't."

'Oh yes I did.' Bakura smirked to himself. His first word was 'Damn it' and he knew that Anzu's parents were going to be furious. "Damn it, damn it, damn it!" he curled his tiny hands in to fists and started beating the high chair table. "Waaaah! Damn it!"

Anzu's face lost color. _Mom's gonna kill me... _"Now, Tom-"

"Damn it!" screamed 'Tommy' at the top of his lungs.

"Okay, okay! I guess I'm not good enough to use your name right?" Anzu said, crossing her arm over her chest.

"Yes." 'OMG YAY! I'm talking!... OMG? Where the _hell _did I learn that?"

**Flashback:**

**Gina hugged her new teddy bear. "OMG OMG OMG!"**

**Azzy grabbed her fake cell phone. "OMG OMG OMG!"**

**Juanita picked up her new set of felt tip pens. "OMG OMG OMG!"**

**End flashback.**

His eye twitched. That might've had something to do with it.

Anzu glared, "Well you don't have to rub it in!"

"Yes." 'I'm so proud of myself. Look at the way she's twitching, Ra, I haven't seen that since...'

**Flashback:**

**Anzu stood there, covered in tissue. "Why are you doing this again?" she asked Azzy as Bakura watched from a safe distance. **

**"Because," said Azzy rolling her eyes and walking around Anzu, the dreaded toilet paper tightening around her body. "I need to get my medical badge, otherwise I won't be able to go on my field trip."**

**"Duh," said Juanita. **

**"Yeah," shouted Gina. "And if she doesn't we won't see each other for a whole two months!" **

**Af if this thought was unbearable, the three toddlers emraced. **

**"I can feel the toilet paper squashing my tum-tum." said Juanita.**

**"Me too," chorused Azzy and Gina.**

**Bakura let out a laugh. Anzu on the other hand...**

**Twitch.**

**Twitch, twitch.**

**"Oh no!" shouted Juanita, letting go of her sisters. "Azzy broke Anzu!"**

**"Oooooh!" said Gina.**

**"B-but, I d-didn-didn't mean to!" there were tears in Azzy's eyes. "It was an accident. N-now I made her look we-weird!"**

**"Now, now," said Bakura moving towards the brown haired girl. "You aunties always been like that, if anything she looks prettier then before."**

**Anzu starting twitching violently.**

**"OMG!" shouted Gina. "She gonna 'splode!"**

**End flashback.**

Bakura laughed.

Anzu stared at Bakura 'What a weird kid...'

Then she had an idea. She eyed the plate of baby food.

SPLAT

Half went down Bakura's throat while the other half was on his face. "Hah! I knew I'd get you to eat something!"

Bakura's face reddened. "Damn it, damn it, damn it!"

"Agh! Stop saying that you little bastard!" Anzu's hands went to her mouth, covering it.

Bakura stared, he had no idea...

Friendship preacher...

Innocent little...

Swearing...

At a toddler...

BASTARD?

"Bshart!" he hissed back.

He stared.

She stared back.

He blinked.

She blinked back.

He sniffed.

She sniffed back.

Something definitely stunk...

Oh shit.

It was him!

"Eww! Somebody needs a new diaper." muttered Anzu holding her nose.

Bakura tried to do the same, but couldn't. 'Smell... Burning... Eyes...' "Waaaaah!"

Anzu groaned, how was she going to hold her nose and change him at the same time? Aha! Yami...

10 minutes later:

'When is she going to change me damn it?' "Damn it!"

"Calm down," said Anzu, still holding her nose. "It's almost time."

'Almost time for what? Why'd you leave the room before this? WHAT ARE YOU PLANNING?' "Waaaaaaaah!"

Knock, knock, knock.

Anzu got up, "That must be him."

'Must be WHO?' "Wawawaaah!"

Bang, bang.

"I'm coming! Hold your horses Yami."

'Yami? Yami as in PHARAOH? WHERE is my DECK?' "Waaaah!" tears started streaming down his face. He stopped and sniffed when he saw the pharaoh standing there, with his eyebrow raised.

"Your right Anzu, he doesn look a little odd. What is that smell?"

Anzu walked in from behind him. "It's what I need your help with Yami-kun," her eyes were suddenly, big and round and teary. Bakura had seen this a million times.

"Anzu," said the pharaoh, his voice emotionless. "I'm not changing a childs diaper."

"Pwease Yami-kun? For _me?" _she batted her eye lashes.

Bakura saw beads of sweat roll down the pharaoh's face. This never got old.

Yami's thoughts:

_Must resist... the eyes. No... they're... over powering... I need... puzzle has... abandoned me.. abandoned me... NOO!_

End Yami's thoughts.

"Alright then." he muttered, picking up Tommy.

"Don't you need my help?" asked Anzu.

"No, Tommy and I need to talk."

Before she could say or ask or even stare at him, he shut the dorr behind himself.

-

Never in a million years did Bakura think he'd be in this situation, it was disgusting.

He was trouserless, his... thing exposed. And the pharaoh was above him, touching... _it. _Cleaning it with a wipe. He was so disgusted that he had even forgotten how to scream.

After he was clean and in his pants the pharaoh glared at him. "Akefia, that was the most disturbing thing I had ever done."

Bakura stared at himn, bewildered. "Nyah?"

Yami raised an eyebrow. "First let's take care of that."

A light came from his puzzle, Bakura shut his eyes.

"What the fuck was that?" he hissed.

"HOLY RA! I SPEAK!"

But his voice was that of a childs.

"Quiet, before Anzu hears you." hissed Yami. "She'll get a heart attack."

Bakura frowned. "How'd you know it was me?"

"I sensed you stupid."

Bakura let the comment slide, once he was back to his normal self, they'd duel to the death for it. "How do I get back to normal?" he demanded.

"How would _I _know? I don't even know how you ended up like this, all I know is that if Anzu ever _does_ change your diaper, I'm going to hang you, toddler or not."

Bakura glared at him. "What are you going to do? _Live_ here? In case she hasn't told you, I'm her new baby brother."

"Yes, she has told me, _Tommy." _his eyes were dancing with amusement.

"Call me that again and I swear I shall-"

"What else should I call-"

"Is everything okay in there Yami?" it was Anzu, outside the door.

Bakura smirked and opened his mouth when-

A light appeared again from the puzzle and he felt his legs give way. "Waaah!" 'Oh shit, not again.'

Yami opened the door. "I've changed him," before Anzu could answer or thank him he continued. "I don't feel right, your alone in the house with a toddler, I'm going to the Kame house to get my things, I'm sleeping over for tonight and tomorrow, just to make sure your alright." he walked out, leaving Anzu dumbfounded.

She turned to Tommy. "Did you have something to do with this?"

"..."

"Okay, stupid question."

Afew minutes later, he was surprised to find out that it was already five pm, his nap time. Anzu held a bottle of milk to his mouth and he slowly sucked on the nipple, every now and then giving it a bite.

Once he was fed:

She sighed and picked him up, putting his head on her shoulder and his chest against hers. "I used to be a baby sitter," she said when she felt her brother stiffen. "So I know what I'm doing."

Squisy... Big breasts... Could one year olds get horny?

(O.O)

'Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! With Mazaki? NOWAY! Not me, never me!'

Knock, knock.

"Anzu it's me." came Yami's voice.

"Damn Pharaoh," said Bakura.

Anzu's eyes turned towards him. "W-what?"

"Nyeh?" Bakura blinked.

Anzu shook her head. She was hearing things. She must've been.

-

Cat: So, review you guys!

Aki: (Grins) How much reviews do you want for this then.

Cat: (Frowns) Because of what you pulled... I want the number to reach, (Smirks) 55

Aki: (Eye twitches)

Alex: (Sighs) I know how you feel...


	5. Chapter 5

M.L: Finally..

Cat: Don't get chatty with me, you still have to update your story.

Aki: Both of you shut up!!

M.L and Cat: (Hanging over a pot of boiling oil)

Alex: (Eating an apple while Aki huggles him)

M.L: Get your fifthy paws off of my man!

Aki: He's MY man!

M.L: MINE!

Aki: MINE! (Bears fangs)

M.L: (Ditto)

Alex: .. -.-; Fangirls.. Yay.

Cat:

_**Alex: Cat doesn't own YGO, M.L, Me, or Aki.**_

Juanita grabbed Azzy in a neck lock. "TO AUNTIES HOUSE WE GO!"

"Gina!!" cried Azzy. "June's hurting me!"

Gine frowned. "June, let go of Azzy."

Juanita let go, frowning slightly.

"Well, we're gonna be late! Come on!"

--

Anzu's POV:

Anzu stared at them, Yami had practically begged to hold Tommy.

_I guess.. They must be bonding._ Anzu blushed, _Yami's so good with kids. _

--

Bakura/Tommy's POV:

Bakura smiled fakely as Yami fakely laughed and patted his head and then he said _fakely _what good boy Tommy was.

He noticed Anzu's blush and frowned.

Suddenly the phone rang and Anzu turned to pick it up.

"Oh! They what? Ran away? Left a note? All the way from England! BOOKED A FLIGHT WITH YOUR CREDIT CARD? HIRED A LIMO? What? Akira! How could you let this happen? I know you weren't expecting this but, Oh My GOD and you're my older sister... My role model! Okay, I'll be sure to call you if they get here." Anzu put the phone down.

"Nyuh?" Bakura tilted his head.

"What happened?" Yami asked.

"The dweebs. They hired a limo on their moms credit card, booked a flight, left a note, and flew from London to Domino and their plane landed three hours ago." Anzu looked like she's break down any second.

Bakura grinned. _Very good, those lessons paid off after all.._

**Flashback:**

**Gina grinned. "Yay!"**

**Azzy giggled. "We did it Uncle Bakura!"**

**Juanita was just as excited, her fist ever break out! "I wonder if Auntie's noticed we're gone."**

**Bakura grinned at them ruffling Gina's hair. "I doubt it, your aunt is dense, superbly dense."**

**"What next?" asked Azzy, anxiously.**

**"Lesson number seventy-nine," Bakura gave small smile, specially for his three little minions. "Taking candy from babies."**

**"Yay!"**

**"Cool."**

**"Whatever."**

**They turned to Azzy, the normally ecstatic girl, who now had her arms crossed over her salwaar kameez, their eyebrows raised.**

**"SHOTGUN!" she shouted suddenly.**

**Bakura chuckled as Gina and Juanita puffed out their cheeks.**

**With Anzu:**

**"OMG NO!"**

**"Calm down Aki..."**

**"Calm? Anzu! My babies-"**

**"ADOPTED BABIES-"**

**"Are missing!"**

**"I think it's a good experience, you'll learn to be young ag- ...What're you gonna do with that hammer?"**

**End Flashback.**

Bakura smiled. And they were coming to Japan.. Here. Suddenly his face lost color. They'd realize Akefia Bakura was missing... The appearance of young Tommy who looked exactly like him... Anzu would know.. She'd stop- _Stop what? Nothing has changed between us, if anything she'd be humiliated, which I wouldn't mind. I'd rather enjoy that._

While Bakura tried to convince himself, Yami called the Domino Police Department after finally learning how to work a phone.

--

Yami's POV:

_I swear, this wretched thing may try to take my soul any second... But If I must, I must._

Ring.

Ring.

"Hello?"

"Hello, this is Motou Yami," _BOW BEFORE MY SMEXYNESS!_

"How may I help you Mr.Motou?"

_You may... BOW BEFORE ME!_ "Well we've got three missing girls-"

"Excuse me, please sir."

_NEVER! HOW DARE YOU CUT ME OFF YOU PRICK!_ "Of course, go ahead."

"These three girls, one's African, the other Asian and one American? All flying in from Heathrow, London, around seven years old?"

"A good guess..." _OMG! IT'S A PSYCHIC! _

"Sir, they're right here."

"Ah.." _WELL WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SO? HOW DARE YOU PLAY MIND GAMES WITH ME? I SHALL SUCK OUT YOUR FILTHY MORTAL SOUL, YOU LOW-_

"Please pick them up A.S.A.P."

_Whatever that means.._ "I'm not sure I can do that but I'll be there as soon as possible."

"... Yes sir, thank you sir."

-

With Juanita, Gina and Azzy:

"Well girls, good news, a guy called in to tell us you were missing and he'll be here to pick you up." the young man smiled at the three girls.

"Who was it?" asked Gina.

"What was his name?" asked Azzy.

"What's he look like?"

"...That information is highly confidential."

"You didn't ask did you?" said Gina.

"..No."

There was a knock on the door.

Azzy caught a glimpse of the person knocking through the blinds. "It's the filthy Pharaoh!"

Gina and Juanita scowled.

"How dare he show his pineapple shaped head," said Juanita.

"Uncle Bakura will slay him when we're done telling him." nodded Gina.

The young Constable stood there in confusion, then went to open the door to Yami.

--

Yami's POV:

_I said goodbye to Anzu, though I was reluctant to leave her with 'Tommy', anyhoo, these brats had better appreciate me driving all the way here in the rain._

Yami knocked on the door and waited a few mintes in the rain before the constable opened it. "Hello, were you the-" _Little smart alec sonova- "_young man who spoke to me on the-" _Soul sucker- _"Phone?"

The man nodded. "That would be me, and I'm guessing you're here to pick these girls up? They were angels."

_And I can see you itching for a tip you filthy, filthy mortal. _"Well, we'd best get going before their mother begins to worry." he nodded at the three. "Girls."

"Pharaoh." they replied, coldly.

Yami sweat dropped and then coughed. "Let's get going."

-

As Yami left Anzu sniffed herself. "Ew, I need a bath."

She looked at Tommy who was sitting on the couch, looking at her rather skeptically. "Well I can't leave you alone, guess you'll have to come with."

Bakura's thoughts:

_Oh Ra, YES!!!_

-------

Aki: (Holding on to Alex) Yay! Another chapter!

M.L: Can we get down now? (Narrows eyes at Aki)

Aki: (Sticks tongue out) Cat can, you and B.L stay up there.

Cat: (Blinks) B.L isn't-

B.L: (Ties up next to them) -.-; Save it Cat...

Alex: Yeah, maybe we can get Cat down. (O.o)

B.L and M.L: WHAT ABOUT US?

Aki: Well Review!!


	6. Chapter 6

Bakura: I wonder when this is going to get updated...

Cat: (Poofs out of nowhere with a tray of cookies.)

Bakura: (Screams and jumps backwards.) WHAT THE HELL?

Cat: Yo-- (Is glomped by Bakura) (Oo)

Bakura: I'M SO HAPPY! YOU'RE FINALLY UPDATING!

Cat: (oo) (…) Actually I was just popping in to give you some cookies. ( n-n) (Holds tray to Bakura.)

Bakura: (Holds dagger to Cats throat.)

Cat: (Brown skin looses it's colour.) B-but while I-I'm here, I may as well u-update!!

Bakura: (Grins sadastically, baring his fangs.)

Alex: (Oo) (Wonders what ML see's in him.)

Cat: (Looking up from her typing. Smiles at the evil looking Bakura.) Bakura, since it's been so long, I guess I'll give you a little treat...

Disclaimer: Cat does not own YGO! But she owns these delicious chocolate chip cookies! (Hands readers cookies.)

* * *

Anzu sat in the bath, Bakura was on the toilet(with the seat down.), his left eye twitching madly.

Anzu was in the bath.

With her clothes_ on._

"Ga ga goo." he said with emphasis, glaring at her.

"Yeah right. Pervert." she said snappily.

(o.o)

"Goo?"

"I'm not taking off my clothes with you sitting there." she looked straight, grabbing the shampoo bottle and pouring some of the purple liquid into her hands before massaging her hair with it. "It's bad for your brain."

_You mean my eyes. _Bakura thought, his eyes both twitching now. There was something wrong with the Friendship Preacher, more so then he had first assumed.

He looked down at the floor and frowned. He could totally jump from here, couldn't he?

Ofcourse he could! He was Thirf King Akefia! He jumped from building and Pyramids!

Well, okay, maybe not pyramids.... but definitely buildings! Piece of cake!

He concentrated on the floor first, then put his hands either side of him and jumped. _Wait, hold on, I can't even stand on my own yet!_

He closed his eyes and screamed.

Splash!

"Mh... mh..." he shook, waiting to collide with the tiles, but he didn't. He felt himself suddenly wet. He opened his eyes.

A very wet Anzu in a drenched red shirt and baggy white trousers had her arms around him, eyes hidden behind her bangs.

"Tommy." she breathed, holding him close. "God, _Tommy_, that was so _close._" her grip around him tightened.

Bakura suddenly noted something. She was shaking.

Immediately something hit his stomach really hard, like someone had punched him but the pain hit his chest. Guilt?

"You crazy kid." she said pulling him up and he looked with curiousity into wet eyes. That definitely wasn't bath water.

Mazaki cared about him?

SPLASH!

He was thrown into the bath. "GARRRRRGH!" he screamed.

Anzu grabbed him from the shoulders pulling him up. "Swimming lessons!" she shouted, pushing him under the water for a second.

He coughed out water and stared at her.

Friendship Preacher... _was crazy._

He scowled and grabbed her hair with his hands.

"Hey-- ouch!" she shouted when he pulled at her locks.

"MYAH, KYA!" he battle cried.

Anzu fell face first into the bath, holding Bakura above her by his sides and he kicked and pulled at her.

* * *

Yamis kept his cool surprisingly well while the three girls glared their eye daggers at him. This was for Anzu, Anzu, Anzu.

He could just imagine Anzus smile when he brought them to her...

**Mental image:**

"**Anzu, I've found them." Yami said, opening the door.**

**Anzu stood with baby Bakura in her hands and wearing a yellow apron, her hair tied back. She gasped. "Yami, really?" she sad happily.**

**Yami moved aside, revealing the three smiling girls.**

"**Auntie Anzu!" Juanita said.**

"**Yami was the best!" said Azra.**

"**We're totally gonna worship him now and forget all about that lame Bakura!" Gina grinned, raising a fist.**

**Anzu dropped Bakura on his head and ran into Yamis arms. "Oh Yami!" she said, blushing and leaning closer to him.**

**End Flashback.**

Azzy tugged at Ginas arm.

Gina blinked. "Hey! You broke my concentrat--"

"He's haappy." Azzy pointed out at the grinning Pharaoh.

Juanita blinked too, breaking her deadly glare attack that was aimed at the back of the Pharaohs head. "Hey, you're right. I feel a happy aura coming from him."

Gina frowned, eyebrows knitting together. "Mutated pinapple Pharaoh is upto something! _Let's keep our eyes on him!" _she whispered.

Azzy and Juanita nodded their heads in agreement.

"What's the hold up?" he asked, hands in his pocket, waiting at the street lamp.

Suddenly, Gina caught sight of something and yelled.

"Mutated Pinapple Headed Pharaoh!" shouted Juanita.

"Look out, Yami!" screamed Azzy.

Yami turned, probably just in time. Miho jumped from the shadows, her arms out stretched.

"YAMI-KUN!" she shrieked in a total fangirl way.

Yami dodged the glomp by moving to the side, Miho hit the floor face first!

"Yeah!" shouted Juanita.

"Miho-hoe loses ten life points!" shouted Azzy happily.

"Oi, oi, oi!" Gina said angrily. "What are you guys doing cheering for the Pharaoh?"

They ignored her because Miho suddenly got up, jumping once again towards Yami.

Azzy and Juanita held each other and screamed.

But Yami was too fast for her, he moved again and pulled something out of his pocket holding it to Mihos face.

"Ya-" Miho stopped talking immediately. Giant hearts appreared in her eyes. "RYOU-KUN!" she yelled, snatching the photo from Yami and drooling all over it.

(Oo)

"Yay, you did it!" said Azzy while Miho fell to her knees, eyes fixated on the picture.

"Go Pharaoh!" Juanita said happily.

"Lucky shot!" said Gina, glaring at the girls who had totally just betrayed Bakura-sempai.

Yami blinked but then smiled widely.

(o.o)

"Uh, thank you." Yami said.

"Whatever." said Juanita.

"If she glomped you, we wouldn't be able to see Bakura-sama." Azzy said stubbornly. "Hey, why'd you have a photo of Ryou anyway?"

Yami sweatdropped. "I always keep a picture of Ryou in my pocket in case of fangirl attacks, Now let's go before she realises we tricked her."

Gina stared at the happy Miho who was currently rubbing her cheek against the photo. Her eye twitched. "I don't think she'll _ever_ realise it."

For a splitting moment where Bakura, who had been raised by Anzu by his hips was suddenly on top of her. Her knees on either side of her and his hands on the bathtub holding him from squashing her.

One difference.

_He was an adult._

"Ba-Bakura?" Anzus eyes were wide and on him, cerulean blue boring into crimson.

"Mazaki."

He could speak! The imtimat position they were in had taken his notice and he couldn't help lean closer and she seemed too shocked to stop him. Ra, she smelled like roses, his eyes half lidded.

"Bakura... What..."

POOF!

Two year old Bakura sat on Anzus stomach, blinking at her, head barely above the water.

NOOO!

"WAAAAHHHH!" he wailed, hands turning to fists.

Anzus eyes were wide on him, her hand on her chest.

When Yami opened the door to Anzus house, Anzu stood exactly how he had imagined, except without the apron and hair held back, but she held _Tommy_ a little way from her, by the hips, far far away from her.

Tommy glared at him, rather unhappily, his usual scowl set on his lips.

"Hey, that baby!" said Azzy suddenly.

"Looks just--"

Juanita was cut off by Gina. "like Bakura!"

"That's because he _is_ Bakura." Anzu snapped, eyes narrowing at Yami who was wondering if he could still manage his fantasy to come true...

Bakura: (Is blinking.) How the hell was that my treat?

Cat: Almost intimate position! (Grins.) And for all you know, it'll be the only thing on Anzus mind!

Bakura: (Frowns.) And if she decides that she can't think of Tommy in such a way?

Cat: She won't. (Pulls out statistics.) You see, Anzu was already in a respectslashhate battle with Bakura, when Tommy came in, she hadn't spent more then a few hours with him. Instead of feeling sisterly love for him, in this time she'd have grown fond of him, she was already not happy about the whole gaining a family member thing so she'll be really easy to pull out of this one.

Bakura: (Looks doubtdfull.) And this story is on its way to being finished?

Cat: (Nods) Just a few more chapters. I'll update one every week for as long as I have internet.

Bakura: (Grins.) I suppose that was a pretty good scene.

Cat: (Nods) I'd especially love to have a fanart done of that scene with a wet Anzu holding a baby Bakura who watches her really sadly.

Bakura: But no one loves you that much. (Smirks.)

Cat: (;-;) Review!


End file.
